I watched this small, delicate creature suffer to death. 

I held him, he looked no different than an innocent baby.

I tried to give him water, and I saw him struggle to drink.

I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed something so horrible.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much pain in my life.

My mom held him as he was dying and told him that it’s okay to leave this world. 

And so he took his last breath, and left. And he took a part of my heart with him.

I love you so much, Bullet. You deserved better. 

I wish I could turn back time because I know that I could have prevented this. 

Could have done something different.

I will never forgive myself. But I can only hope he does. I can only hope God will.

This really opened my eyes. I won’t be so negative anymore. I swear. I watched

one of God’s creatures struggle, while I sit comfortably, contemplating suicide.

No more.

I’m turning my life around.

Bullet, may angels guide you to happiness.

May you rest your beautiful head on Jesus’s hands.

I love you and I miss you.