I’m almost done. One more day to go until Winter break.
My mind feels as though it is in a blank state. My day in school today was uneventful and I’m trying to not let gym class bother me too much. I’ve also been feeling less pretty lately. I think it’s because I’ve been comparing my appearance to other girls in my school..which is never good. I need to shake it off and have confidence in myself alone. I refuse to be negative. I know I’ll feel better only through positive thoughts. What will bashing myself accomplish anyway? I need to keep reminding myself of this.
At this time, I really don’t desire anything. Or should I say anyone. I’m not nervously watching boys or imagining having a boyfriend. I figure this is great since I won’t ever be able to devote time to someone if I don’t love myself first. It’s a process, I think. One that can only pay off in the end.
So I guess I should take things day by day and stop breaking down for every little thing. I know I’m more capable and stronger than I’m allowing myself to be. And the only way I’ll feel beautiful is not with new clothes or make up, but with positivity and loving myself.
I know this whole heartedly, even when I try to doubt it.
Why is it so hard for me to keep this up? A big part of me is afraid. I don’t want to wallow in doubt or sadness anyone. Life could be a lot more wonderful if I allow it. I know I can do better than this. I just don’t want to slip anymore.
Enough is enough, isn’t it?
So today, I just want to read books and eat.
Probably end up sleeping early. Maybe that way, I’ll wake up earlier and prepare for my day better.
//Any~way//
Right now, I’m anxiously waiting for my mom to come home so I can eat. I’m really hungry. I think I might to some extra credit for English 4, since I missed an assignment for the first time. 
All I wanna do right now is eat though.
byebye.
